The Futile attempt to create the Illusive Perfect Christmas

*Photographs from ThinkstockPhotos and


Every year I look forward to Christmas with excitement and anticipation.  I love the festive season and everything about it.  So why do I always feel a sense of disappointment?

Recently I think I’ve figured it out!

Over the years I have constantly need to make everything perfect (whatever that is) and the search for the illusive perfect Christmas is futile and pointless and only serves to make me feel more frustrated and guilty.

It begins with the tree.  Sometime in my early twenties I decided that my Christmas tree should be coordinated and perfectly put together – like something from a film.  Except I have the creative vision of a nursery child and just never seemed to be able to make it look that way.  The past few years the kid(s) have decorated it but instead of feeling cosy about it all, it drives me crazy.   It’s a bloody tree that’s up for a few weeks but I struggle unless it’s equally spread out!

Then there’s the gifts.  Our children aside we don’t have an unlimited budget for family and I often become frustrated when I find perfect gifts for people but it’s considerably out of budget.  I find myself pining away because I knew this gift was so perfect and I love giving people gifts.

Facebook posts don’t help this time of year.  We have the photos of pantomimes, ice skating, craft markets and home baking going on.  I love seeing photos of friends and family doing this but I can’t be the only one whose home is totally different.  My kids are so tired from the additional things at school that they just want down time in the evenings and weekends – and there are so many jobs to be done leading up to Christmas anyway.

Thank goodness I’m not in charge of Christmas lunch!


*photograph from IndieWire

Now I’m aware that I’m beginning to sound like The Grinch here but I’m genuinely not.  I love Christmas as much as anyone but what I’m trying to learn (not very successfully) is that perfect isn’t movie status trees and decorations or Facebook worthy family pictures.  For me it’s about enjoying the kids their enjoyment.  It’s about family, we have some amazing get togethers that really make me realise how lucky we are to be surrounded by each other and it’s about making the most of the now as the children will one day be grown and our Christmases may look very different.

However you celebrate (or spend the 25th December), whatever your idea of a perfect Christmas is, I wish you the best one ever – filled with love and laughter, friends and family.


Kerry xxxxxxx


  1. Those expectations are understandable! For me, we should really just think about the people we love most in this season among other things. Being with the ones you love or make you happy can make a Christmas perfect. 😊💖

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I used to really buy into the idea that Christmas had to be spent with family and everyone had to have a good time. But that would never happen for me, because a lot of my family are less than pleasant people to be around and I have terrible anxiety.

    After letting go of that expectation and realizing I could spend the holidays doing my own thing, and be festive and positive all by myself – I started doing it. And it felt wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think there is pressure to have everything looking perfect, especially for those who have to organise things like getting all the presents in, decorating, cooking, having people round. The perfect images in the Xmas adverts don’t help really…
    It’s just a day. I’d rather be on my own, preferably somewhere far away, but that ain’t gonna happen so I just try not to let it all stress me out 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can relate to about perfection thing during festivals …I have noticed that if I will stay happy with things be it bad or good or moderate others will join in my happiness too . Same way family resonates our happiness …Nice post ..And merry Christmas ♥️♥️♥️

    Liked by 1 person

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